2025 Annual Meeting: Tools for Difficult Conversations with Libby Roderick

After ACG’s annual business meeting and updates from the past year, Libby Roderick led an interactive program sharing tools, tips, and resources for thoughtful and productive conversations when we don’t agree or share the same perspective. Libby is the Director Emeritus of the Difficult Dialogues Initiative at UAA and works with groups around the U.S. and world to increase their capacity to effectively conduct difficult dialogues.

This event was in person only, and no video recording is available. Libby shared the following tools and resources with our members:

Talking Across the Divide: How to Communicate with People You Disagree with and Maybe Even Change the World

(Justin Lee)

A great book by an author who is both Evangelical Christian and gay, which has required him to become incredibly insightful about how to talk with people you care about but with whom you disagree. Nine of the chapters deal with the barriers to dialogue, including Ego Protection, Team Loyalty, Comfort, Misinformation, and World View Protection. Available through the UAA Consortium library, the Loussac Library and all major booksellers.

Start Talking: A Handbook for Engaging Difficult Dialogues in Higher Education

(ed. Landis)

An internationally acclaimed field manual produced as part of a Ford Foundation project at UAA, which gives faculty tools and strategies to proactively engage difficult dialogues in the classroom while increasing student learning. It offers a wide array of techniques for engaging groups in difficult dialogues, most of which can be transferred easily to other group settings. You can download this book for free by searching for Start Talking UAA Difficult Dialogues Office of Academic Affairs. You can also get copies at the UAA Consortium Library.

Difficult Conversations: How to Talk About What Matters Most

(Patton, Stone and Heen)

Excellent book that explores what makes some conversations difficult, why people avoid having difficult conversations, and why people often manage difficult conversations poorly. The authors offer techniques for having more effective, fruitful discussions. Available through the Alaska Public Library System and major booksellers.

PALS Process for Respectfully Responding to Statements we Disagree With

(University of Michigan Program on Intergroup Relations)

Pause (P):

“Excuse me…”;
“Hold on a minute…”
“Wait a second…”;
“Can we circle back to that?”;
“Before we move on…”

Acknowledge/Ask (A):

Affirmative Phrases:

“What I am hearing you saying is…”
“I think you are commenting on…”

Clarifying Phrases:

“Could you elaborate a bit about what you meant by that?”
“Can you talk a little more about that?”

Explanatory Phrases:

“So, you believe that companies should hire people according to merit, rather than their social identity.’
“I think what I am hearing is that you believe people in poverty should work harder in order to meet their own needs.”

Listen (L):

Eye contact, nodding, remain calm, really listen to understand, keep an open mind.

Speak (S):

E.g., “I used to believe that people always had the ability to achieve their goals through merit, until I realized how many barriers exist in the professional world that prevent marginalized groups from receiving equal access to employment opportunities.”